A Tavern Pizza Party

Description
The first episode of DnDnD! The party comes together to fight an owlbear as we come together to make our own pizzas. We meet Zabbas, Margarine, Flak, Fletch, and Juno as they arrive in the city of Night's Pass to begin their lives as a team of adventurers.

Dinner
Pizza! Everyone makes their own pizza. James sings a song about eating pizza while trying to play the ukulele, earning himself inspiration before the game starts. When Graessle was 14 and first started playing D&D he and his friends would get a Papa John’s hot and ready pizza and Country Time Lemonade (made from the big tube of concentrate, not the packet). So that is most likely what inspired the first dinner for DnDnD. Graessle was gonna make lemonade but Ralph’s was out of lemons so they had beer instead, because they’re grown up.

During dinner, everyone introduces themselves and their characters while providing a little information as to why they picked them. Beth playing as the halfling rogue, Margarine Styx; Chelsea playing as a sorcerer elf, Zabbas Kinlin; James playing a forest gnome bard, Flak Tansen; Joel playing as the human ranger, Juno Greenpoint; and Mike playing as the wood elf ranger, Fletch Stormtail. Asking about their experience with D&D Beth, Chelsea, James, and Joel have played before (though limited) while this campaign is Mike’s first experience.

Campaign
The story starts off with Margarine, Flak, Zabbas, and other members of their wagon party on the trail to Knight’s Pass. As the sun sets, they make camp where Margarine breaks the ice by offering Flak and Zabbas some candy, some that are wrapped and others that aren’t. The peace is interrupted by a loud, horrible screeching noise, causing Margarine’s mouse, Cheese, to freak out. Through the trees an owlbear burst into camp, followed by Juno who tells the others to stay back. An arrow flies out of the forest, missing the owlbear. It is followed by its archer, Fletch, who can’t believe he missed. Flak casts a spell that has no effect. Juno claims the quarry is his and goes for the owlbear’s legs with his short sword but trips over a root. He falls face first and his sword becomes embedded in the ground. Zabbas casts Dancing Lights, creating a humanoid shape. Margarine throws her dagger at the owlbear before hiding away in the forest. Fletch, using the light shape as cover, looses an arrow through the lights and at the owlbear. Angry and confused the owlbear attacks the light. Flak attacks the owlbear with his dagger, sticking it into the owlbear’s body. Juno tried to attack the owlbear with his dagger but swings at empty air. Zabbas shoots the owlbear with his crossbow, causing the creature’s attention to turn to him. Fletch tries to shoot at the creature again but misses. From the woods Margarine lassos the owlbear and ties it to a tree. The owlbear breaks free of the rope and charged at Margarine, snapping at her. Flak comes at it with his rapier while Juno shoots at the owlbear with his longbow, missing yet again. Fletch tries to climb up a tree for a vantage point but falls. Margarine attacks before hiding behind a tree. Significantly wounded the owlbear flees into the wood with Margarine and Flak’s daggers still impaled in it.

While Margarine and Flak are upset about their daggers, Fletch expresses his displeasure in the owlbear escaping. He reveals that he has been tracking it for two weeks for having ravished his family’s lands for too long. Fletch belittles Juno for jumping into his hunt after five minutes and Margarine gloats over her skills taking out the bear. As Zabbas and Flak berate the rangers Margarine stuffs stray owlbear feathers into her pockets and then tries to dab her forehead, bloodied from the fight. Juno steps up, ripping pieces of cloth from his cape to wrap her wound. Impressed Margarine begins to aggressively flirt with Juno and offers him the candy she had offered Flak and Zabbas. The other travelers in the wagon party, impressed with how the Team took care of the owlbear, ask that they see them safe into Knight’s Pass.

Fletch says the only way it’s possible is if they catch and kill the owlbear. It is a personal owlbear who the Team names Jeremy. Luckily for Fletch, the owlbear returns for revenge. With a single arrow, Fletch kills Jeremy. Inspired Zabbas paints a decent watercolor of the dead owlbear before Fletch cuts off its beak thinking owlbear becks contain magical healing properties. Juno takes it a step further after retrieving his sword by beheading the creature, creeping the others out. With Jeremy taken out the Team rests with the other travelers, feasting on owlbear meat before seeing them to Knight’s Pass in the morning.

Arriving in the city Margarine takes the Team to The Scale Scraper Tavern, located near the docks, for celebratory drinks. Zabbas tries to charm the bartender, Chet, to get free drinks for everyone but fails. Margarine succeeds in procuring free drinks, knowing Chet as she grew up in Knight’s Pass and was a frequent patron of the Scale Scraper. Juno gets a glass of milk while everyone else has a tankard of grog.

Enticed by the free drinks a drunkard at the bar, Kif, tries to get in on them as well. Margarine is down but Chet says the man doesn’t get free drinks, explaining that he’s been sitting there drinking since getting into town, being a downer. Kif, a human merchant from the famous trading town Placenamesarehard, laments about his misfortune to the Team. He tells them on his journey he traveled through the Swamp to save some time but managed to lose his wagon and all the goods inside it. Fletch wants to help Kif, though the rest of the Team need more of an incentive. Kif entices them to help with the contents of the wagon which includes: gemstones, silk, cloth, and a magical wizard robe which Zabbas is all about. Instead of trying to go get the wagon the Team tries to find Kif a lady to lift his spirits. After discovering that there aren’t any women in the bar who would have any interest in him Kif bursts into tears, making the Team feel guilty.

Curious about a group of men in the bar Juno walks towards them to find what’s going on. One of them spots Juno and pulls a dagger on him, not liking his intrusion. Zabbas casts Prestidigitation to make it seem like Juno farted, causing the men to laugh. Juno responds by putting his dagger to the throat of the man who threatened him, earning the respect of the group’s leader, Jason Chon. Jason commands the man to stand down so that he could talk to Juno. He says he noticed Juno talking to Kif and asks Juno if what Kif says about leaving his wagon in the Swamp is true. After Juno confirms this, Jason introduces himself as an expert thief and leader of the bandits around him. He offers Juno a deal that they team up to steal the wagon. Juno, disliking how Jason steals from those in need, punches Jason in the face causing a bar fight to break out.

The Team freaks out over how Juno started a fight sober. The closest bandit to him responded by taking his short sword and slashed Juno, injuring him. Zabbas casts Fog Cloud in order to help the Team escape from the bar before fleeing himself. Margarine helps by throwing 200 ball bearings at the thieves on her way out of the bar. Fletch grabs Kif and flees followed by Juno. Flak tries to leave but runs into the wall. The bandits shoot in random directions, one landing next to Flak’s head. Regaining his sense of direction Flak makes it out and meets the Team and Kif outside. Margarine, knowing how to navigate through the city, takes the Team and Kif to the Wizard Academy where they’d be safe for the moment.

Juno apologizes for the fight telling them he can’t stand anyone who prays on the weak. Margarine gives Kif a piece of her candy after he vomits. The Team agrees to help Kif by going to retrieve his wagon. Juno earns the name Milk Boy when Kif tries to distinguish which ranger he’s talking to. The Team tries to taunt him with it but Juno takes it with pride, the name being a compliment where he’s from. Flak asks if they help Kif get his wagon if they could keep the goods inside which Kif agrees to. Juno warns Kif and the Team about Jason’s plan to steal the wagon, which makes the Team decide to leave soon in order to avoid them. Though the Team questions why they should keep Juno around, though Margarine answers it’s because he’s handsome, Juno tells him that he’d be going to protect the wagon anyway and assures them that he has valuable abilities. They leave Kif at the Wizard Academy and rest at an inn.

The next day the Team heads into the Swamp with Fletch guiding them. With a sense of foreboding in the air Flak calls out to small creatures that could possibly help them. Cheese pops out of Margarine’s clothes for a moment but hides back in them when Flak dismisses the mouse. Flak leans towards the water where a single eye pops open. Fletch warns him that the eye belongs to a giant toad but unfortunately the toad jumps forward and closes its mouth over the top half of Flak.

Trivia

 * The song James sings at the beginning of the episode that earns him inspiration is from an old bagel bites commercial. Other songs James references in this episode include:
 * “I Like It, I Love It” by Tim McGraw
 * “Blinded by the Light” by Manfred Men
 * “You’re Welcome” from Moana.
 * According to the DnDnD twitter (@DnDnDPod) when recording episode 1 Beth kept referring to her pizza as “Australia” based on its shape.
 * Joel just so happened to be the first one to roll a 1.
 * Graessle reveals during a small Q&A portion of the break in the episode “Starved for Exposition Part 2” (S2 E4) that Jeremy the owlbear was named after Jeremy Nasato, the one who created original music for the podcast.
 * Graessle revealed that one of the things he regrets is not letting the Team find a lady for Kif.
 * There was gonna be a subquest regarding Jason Chon and stealing Kif’s wagon instead of getting it back but Juno ruined that quest by punching Jason in the face. Revealed in DnDnDnD.
 * In the DnDnD cover art, designed by the podcast's own Beth Radloff, you can see a few of Jeremy's feathers, Margarine's mouse Cheese, and a slice of pizza which come from this episode.